Wag United (Wives and Girlfriends)

The Prime Video series ‘Married to the Game’ or is it the money, documenting Riyad Mahrez’s wife Taylor on life in the kingdom, Saudi Arabia. Let’s bring it into the light, a life of Riley on extortionate wages but still the wag’s end of the tail wags, cream in the custard pie the sack full of money to avoid the Tesco’s, Aldi runs as a checkout girl that’s the real deal. If you’re looking for an oil painting it’s not in the Riyad mirror, that’s on reflection.

Riyad Mahrez who has a history of histrionics with previous encounters of the third kind, not paying his Manchester cleaner, the mosquito’s arse, Mahrez, as for his other wife at the time who was ditched, Taylor made, you stole my husband, you stole my story. It’s no secret window, Taylor has called out the Saudi’s as being conservative, the need to dress like a cleaner and stay covered is shrouded in scarfs, smatterings of yellow hair are not the order of the day. A reality check is required, the Mahrez 73 million pounds salary is the reality. Enjoy the yellow belly sunset, as for the cocktails that’s for another day. Link to articles Sept 1^st 2021 Flashback Brazil 2014, Wag United and Vardy v Rooney June 29^th 2022.

Manchester United

Hype and optimism became the new trend on the United block following a sequence of wins on the bounce, the Fulham defeat nearing March halted the false dawn. United are twenty to thirty points shy of the Premiership’s juggernauts, staggering, question marks hang over Onana and Marcus Rashford’s rapid decline. Antony, Casemiro, Varane, Wan-Bissaka, Harry Maguire, Martial, Johhny Eveans, Tom Heaton, to hit the exit door, wishful thinking? Heavy contracts create a busted flush on the to offload players, the loaned Sofyan Amrabat will head back to Fioerentina a major rebuild has to be the condition definer. The big question marker is does ten Haag warrant another season at the helm, to be trusted with the rebuild? The Dutchman’s post-match double Dutch, match analysis appearing in a spaceship on one’s mind fuels the doubt. Is it time for the Van der Van on exit for ten Haag?

Dan Ashworth

Football’s much lorded director of football is platformed onto a vaulted position, not on the Manero watch slide down the pole. A transfer dee of a reported 20 million pounds for Newcastle United’s technical director Dan Ashworth to become the TD at Manchester United. Ashworth has been placed on gardening leave, expensive flowers tulips? Perhaps Dan can lace his boots, don’t forget the wellies. The role of the technical director in part is to negotiate player’s contracts, wages or linked to other departments. Recommending players to the manager who theoretically has the final say, it can become a grey area if TD interference becomes the case with the manager’s position. The technical director is not the guru which is bandied about too readily, it is for the manager to rule the sword, to thrive or dive. The TD position detailed in article June 5^th 2019 ‘The Technical Director’s Role’.

Tyson’s Phobia

Tyson Fury harping on the same ringer of one’s bank vaults becomes a boring fart, alongside one’s papa of the dusty arse Johnn Fury housed in the caravaned chickens. Tyson is visibly fearful of Oleksander Usyk, it’s written in the eyes not the stars Tyson. Fury’s loss to Francis Ngannou, forget the judge’s score cards has raised Fury’s Usyk phobia, will Fury appear on fight night May 18^th? It’s doubtful.

Anthony Joshua’s demolition of the mythical figure Francis Ngannou flattened to the canvas inside three rounds has de-frocked the Gypsy King to a degree. Has Tyson’s career been one of kidology? The Artful Dodger known for dodging opponents with failed contract negotiations and injuries incurred pre-fight to postpone. Fury’s phobia of being ridiculed is closing in, the granite man Oleksandr Usyk awaits, it’s all become phobic.

The Tyson Conspiracy Theories

John Fury’s caravan all littered up with cats, a rogued cat deep scratching the Tyson, surely not. Time spent in Morcombe walking the dogs, splat down goes Tyson into a mound of doggy pooh, the cut develops, I’m in the doghouse now, no that’s to be with Usyk, I’ve escaped confusion phew! Shrove Tuesday in the Fury household, the throwing of the pancakes, you dosser shouts Tyson or is it tosser? In came the frying pan, clout, ouch, Tyson been cut, thank God for that retorts the wife Paris, stay at home Tyson, change the nappies I’m off on the lash, that’s a Saudi thing isn’t it, the anagram of Paris, Sirap the Saudi strap, lovely people, over and all that, anything to avoid Usyk, set me free, get all of me free, May 18^th where’s the exit ticket, follow the arrow, Tyson’s gone dosser.

Link to Football’s Conspiracy Theories, Myths, Subplots, Mysteries and Fantasy June 29^th 2020.