Frankfurter’d

England’s Group C match v Denmark on June 20^th in Frankfurt could be fraught with danger off the field, with the UEFA setting the England supporters up to be ambushed by a trail of drug addicts. Having advised the supporters to book their hotel accommodations in Bahhof-Svietal Frankfurt, suck on that Frankfurter. The Svietal houses 5000 junk heads and 300 dealers, into the murkiness welcome to zombie land.

From being housed in the Bob the builders portacabins Qatar 2022 in a snake infested desert, link to article Jan 9^th 2023, Welcome to Qatar, to a further downgrade at Euro 2024, ambushed on the courtesy tickets, badged up, FIFA 2022, UEFA 2024.

Razzamatazz Saudi Style

Time to load the barrels, Saudi Arabia the new found boxing world. Forget the iconic Madison Square Gardens, Wembley Stadium, The O2 they don’t give a shit, that’s the message being sent, the Brits the Yanks sidelined, Ricky Hatton and all that. Promoters Warren and Hearn, the porky pie teller known as Brick Top and Hearn the Snake Charmer, they link together in their own stools and that’s not to be sat on the quest, money. The arrival of the Saudis has saved their bacon but that’s not on the menu, promoters inadequate at clinching the big heavyweight deals, boxers running shot shy of facing each other, it’s not like old days, no shirt shakers there, off with the Persils let’s get down to business inside the ropes, Ali, Frazier, Foreman, Tyson, Lennox Lewis, the real dealers, the Saudis arrive millions stashed, boxers cornered into facing each other, Warren and Hearn there for the billboard advertising operating on the laundry of their money heist.

There’s one factor the Saudis don’t have, passion. There’s no one like the Brits who can create the true boxing extravaganza, the boxing atmosphere, the Saudis space is confined to hearing the squeaky door as Jimmey Riddle going for a piddle, no Frankfurters, not allowed in Saudi another bad deal, just the mustard fucking hell that’s hot into the loaded arses, squeal like pigs, make some noise, a waft of atmosphere it’s the Heavyweight Championship of the World, get the deal, the money does get the job done. The audience sits there motionless on their ring side up the ringer seats, what a contraption. So, who became the motionless one ringer on, oh sorry inside the ropes, ring ring the bell tolls the undisputed Heavyweight Champion of the World Aleksandr Usyk who claimed the entire array of heavyweight belts, WBC, WBA, IBO, IBF, WBO and the belt signifying Usyk as the Heavyweight Champion of our generation defeating Tyson Fury, Ukraine Nepmora Victory.

The Premiership

Congratulations to the 2023-24 English champions Manchester City for the fourth consecutive season, a record. The player of the season Phil Foden is the top indicator of City’s power. At Liverpool the message to the departing Jurgen Klopp, you’ve been great for English football, great for Liverpool your greatness will prevail.

The Championship

Leicester City made a fast track return to the Premiership with Ipswich Town grabbing the automatic second slot, an absence of twenty two years from England’s top flight. Rotherham United, Huddersfield Town and Birmingham City drop zoned into League 1. The Brummies American owners need to hang their heads in shame lensing though star spangled glasses with the appointment of Wayne Rooney on the debacle watch, link to article Feb 2^nd 2024 ‘Vanity Fair, inserted ‘Rooney’s Freight Train’. The Championship play-off final takes place at Wembley Stadium 26^th May, Leeds United v Southampton, the richest game on the planet to enter the richest league on the planet, the Premiership. At the time of writing.

League 1

Bust gutting through the ninety points barrier, Portsmouth became the League Champions with Derby County clinching the second automatic slot. At the leagues basement, Carlise United drop zoned out sixteen plus points shy of safety with Port Vale, Fleetwood Town and Cheltenham Town making up the foursome. The play-off final resulted with Oxford United defeating Bolton Wanderers two to nil, a welcome return to England’s second tier following on from a 25 year absence for the ‘O’s.

League 2

AFC Wrexham and Stockport County clinched promotion mid April with the common denominator being the two clubs reserves to splash the cash, the key to success. County claimed the title defeating MK Dons, the club’s first football League Trophy since 1967. Mansfield Town slotted into the third automatic spot. Non-league football awaits Forest Green Rovers and Sutton United in the play-off final Crawley Town beat Crewe Alexandar two to nil having blitzed MK Dons eight to one over the two semi-final legs, a trail blazer for the red devils.

The National League

Chesterfield blitzed the league to become Champions by a clear day light of 14 points with Barnet in second having their barnets blown away. Oxford City propped the league up on thirty three points, shot shy of safety by a staggering twenty points, Dorking Wanderers, Kidderminster Harriers on a one season NL wonder ride and giant FA Cup giant killers of recent times the Boreham Wood compassed to the Northern and Southern Leagues dependant on the direction of the Football Association’s arrow. The play-off final took place at Wembley Stadium with 23,000 in attendance to see Bromley gain first time league status defeating Solihull (ET) pens 4-2.

Play-off Ban

For the record, Gateshead FC were banned from the possibility of entering the Football League by the Football League due to failure to obtain a ten year security certificate, in layman’s terms the ground is not fit for FL purpose. It did not stop Carl Lewis v the tea bagged Linford Christie running there in 1993 on the ground’s athletics track they ran like the wind. The Tynesiders play-off match v Solihull Moors being cancelled.

National League North

Tamworth claimed the Northern title with the sceptics suggesting that the ‘Lambs’ had an unfair advantage with their 3G pitch artificial pitch, ping pong football, is that the case? Under the orange sunset in Holland the 3G pitches are to be ripped up due to the Dutch theory that the carbon come fibres are masking cancer, tread carefully those sacrificial lambs, peppering away in second place came Scunthorpe United on 88 points trailed Tamworth by eight points, to enter into the play-offs. At the basement end Bishop’s Stortford drop zoned out of the league by an astonishing thirty two points, Gloucester City, Banbury United and Blyth Spartans joined the Bishops. The play-off final took place two weeks at the seasons end with Boston United defeating Brackley Town by two goals to one, the second successive season Brackley have fallen at the play-off stage.

National League South

Yeovil Town claimed the title by a whopping eleven points. Dartford, Taunton Town, Havant and Waterlooville alongside Dover Athletic whose rapid decline accelerates, all zoned out. In the play-off final Braintree Town defeated Worthing 4 to 3.

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