Beep Beep

According to the brunchies, the professional footballer’s diet consists of a diet of cereals, yoghurt or eggs, you can tick that box, porridge is one’s start to the day. As for lunch, chicken, fish, rice, potatoes or vegetarian food are the order of the day, forget the veggies, leave that to the Forest Green Rovers clan. Tick another box, the chicken and potatoes enter one’s recipe in abundance, still waiting for the Road Runner to kick in, beep, beep, perhaps the night menu derails the Road Runner, the chocolates, cake and biscuits effect.

Sport’s scientists, nutritionists, meals on wheels, personalised menus, club restaurant facilities, buses and planes with homemade kitchens with Brooklyn Beckham in tow, watch the rope, all part of the desire to improve the durability, pump up the carbohydrates, time for the gym?

The Overview the EWL

Time to address the English Women’s Soccer League on the back of Team England’s Euro 2022 success. There are many areas within the English umbrella that need to be addressed, to continue to progress is the key word. There were well rounded attendances for the Euros, but this is not the case for the English Women’s League where those attendances can be of a paltry figure. It will be for the mums and dads to take their daughters primarily to watch the WSL League consisting of twelve clubs, the dads who are under the thumb will have to go for the ride, this is where the support will come from, but will it grow, will it stay consistent? There are leagues attached to the rest of the pyramid system and beyond in part, but that’s for the one man dog brigade, improvements can be made here, clubs will need to invest more, to expand commercially and to make adjustments moving forward. More clubs to adopt ladies’ teams, to start, to create. At school level the game is ready for lift off, it needs to remain at a high level, to link to the communities is the key force, the need, the want to support one’s local team with Manchester City, Arsenal and Chelsea in particular to be applauded for taking the WSL to a quality platform, time to twig the model further, these clubs have invested. On the pitch for the national team they have touched the pinnacle, hence the trophy lift, there’s another plateau to become World Champions, add another star to the shirt, dethrone the Americans, the 2023 World Cup. Domestically England trail the Americans, but on the national stage we have made catch up with in particular the physicality outstripping our country cousins, tactics, systems, and the mental capacity to deliver alongside the need to stay calm during match play when the opposition turn the screw, these are the moments that can define the champions from the also rans, this success can be afforded to England’s manager, Sarina Wiegman who has brought this facet into English hearts and minds. Who cares about the bric bracs with their underless claims of a no English coach, Wiegman delivered, that’s all that matters, it’s about winning, that’s the deal, go forth team England.

My Lordship

Liverpool FC alongside many of the Premier League’s big hitters are looking to employ under the job title, the ‘Players Care Officers’, the word butler can enter the wording for the pampered players, to become a member of staff. The winning applicant will look after the likes of Mo Salah, it’s like winning the lottery? The job description as detailed, the butler to open one’s door and to move one’s chair in sync with one’s seating arrangements, to synchronise one’s cutlery and to spoon feed if required. The Lordship’s robot can dress the Lordship, comb one’s hair and shine one’s shoes, don’t forget to wash the pots, launder the clothes and iron to perfection, all for a yearly pay scale of a maximum 30,000 pounds a year, daylight robbery.

As for driving the Lordship’s car, the Sweeny Todd flying squad will do the job ‘you’re nicked’ not at that rate of pay, where’s the Mr Celebrity loophole law breaker on a technicality. The Sweeny boys will wash and put the juice in one’s car and to fake the player’s signatures on merchandise, ‘you’re nicked’, not again. To continue the absurdity, a masters degree in player care in football can be obtained at the Wembley base of football business. To complete the twenty four seven round the clock network is detailed with car suppliers, food providers, estate agents and entertainment, to suck one’s toes My Lord, Paul Scholes? The Loon Tunes of the players care package.

Player Power

The premiership player power syndrome reared it’s ugly head during the last transfer window with the Leicester City defender Wesley Fofana’s transfer to the Chelsea, Chelsea, followed with Leicester’s initial rejection of the Londoner’s bid which did not meet with Fofana’s approval, the player then decided to exercise one’s player power, to hit the strike button and to abstain from training, to pull a strop, to force a move, to disrespect the club’s owners, the manager, Fofana’s team mated and the club’s supporters.

The club was left with no choice but to air the truths in the public domain, to inform of the player’s actions and intentions on seeking a move, quote the manager Brendon Rodgers “It’s all about commitment”. On completion of the transfer to Chelsea, Fofana gave a grovelling, pull the heart strings ‘I love you’ message to all and sundry at the club, reach for the sick bag, the message to Fofana, you cannot fool Joe Public, you can pull on that string, kaput! Chelsea’s March Premiership to Leicester City, the King Power stadium will be foreboding for Fofana, can you second guess Wesley, the following supporter’s chant will reverberate around the King Power “Wesley Fofana, we know what you are”, now that’s fan power, tune in, March eleven 2023.

Pep Guardiola strengthened the Jack Grealish player power ring, watch the movement or lack of it in Grealish’s goals and assist column with four goals and three assists in the last twenty nine Premier League matches, dire stats is the marker. Pep defended the player power syndrome by stating that he did not buy the player for goals and assists but Jack’s contribution without the ball, one of Pep’s historical Daffy Duck quotes. If the player kept off the love juice (partying) then the stats to suggest would improve. Guardiola must think we are all banana heads, stick that in your love juice.