As we enter into the Thunderbirds are go monitor room of the famed VAR, another famed 1 is quickly monitored, no, it’s not Virgil Van Dyke, it’s Lady Penelope’s butler who is seen to spill one’s lady’s tea over the VAR screen monitors, oh, that’s why we’re faulting on the dubious VAR decision making? The fumbling butler is to blame?

Is the bus parked outside, that’s Jose Mourinho’s game plan perhaps that’s fooled VAR, no he’s not from on the buses, ‘Butler’ reverberates around the room, calm down. Lady Penelope, can we borrow your lipstick to highlight the VAR marking lines, very professional Virgil, that machine must go, you mean VAR, no, Thunderbirds are go.

Who is that man in black entering the room, it looks like that bloody referee Mike Dean who supports the Cammell Laird’s of football, Tranmere Rovers good job, the Rovers are not a Premiership club, they would be a cheating VAR at the alter, Dean style, no that’s Manchester City, ‘We know what they are’ goes into a chorus around the room. Any decision yet on the VAR offside decision, it’s been ten minutes, where’s the supporters, they have all nodded off, it’s worse than that Fergie time, always going into extra time and the decision has been made, it’s the VAR offside by a finger nail, this VAR stands for vault and run, that’s why it’s not working, it’s in the wrong sport, it’s an athletics machine, all puff and glory, don’t speak to Mo Farrow, allegedly he always cheats, always changing his story lines, VAR always cheating, over to you Virgil, Thunderbirds are go.