Radio TalkSport’s up the Tosh Meter

First off the rank we have ridiculed John Fury, you know the one with the hoarse voice ‘I am a fighting man’, too old for that John, sad old Uncle Twat, you know the sort – the disrupter seeking attention, silly old fart who splits his trousers on the bend over, don’t go there. Now what was embarrassing was Tyson Fury’s pre-fight alleged sparring cut, razor blade that, is anyone looking? Anyone on planet Earth would be spelching to fill the pants on stepping into the ring with the granite man Oleksandr Usyk, the eyes are the killer, can I do the chicken run and not be spotted, no chance clunk click. May 18^th is the next date, will Fury turn up, no choice Tyson, his Excellency of the Saudi’s, whatever that means, has backed Fury into a corner. You will come out fighting, you’re a fighting man, over to you Tyson, is that right John?

Time to put some more shit into the stove, Uncle Fester John has challenged the ‘Cobra’ Carl Froch to a fight, Carl would spit out his venom all over Uncle John’s caravan, toe the line John. So does Uncle Twat or is it Dad embarrass Tyson, rock on into the sunset John of no return. Onto the Gareth A Davies of Radio TalkSport who likes to brown all and sundry trying to avoid anyone’s bad books alongside showing us his vapour techniques, bloody boring, Gareth would like to show us his red stained rope to match up with the antiquated Gareth, the need to add some Old Spice. Onto the dearie me Adam Catterall who likes to waffle on trying to convince oneself of any previous observations made which might upset any boxers, here we go let’s go round again, maybe I can turn back the tones of my speak one more time, the perched cockerel on the mic.

Onto the man who stepped into the ring, the former European Super Bantamweight European Champion Spencer Oliver, who twitches on his seat as is the eject button is about to be pressed, hit that launch pad. A twitching of the eyebrows if any cross words are spoken on the Anthony Joshua, seems to be a fan boy of the AJ. Spencer was nicknamed the ‘Omen’ the pending of a disaster for his opponents, any good omens for the HJ? Onto the porkie pie teller, the boxing promoter Frank Warren and the snake charmer Eddie Hearn now working in tandem to grab the Saudi’s loot, eat the pork pies and rattle the snakes, hypocrites in arms Queensbury, match room and all that. Set us free, set everybody free, set everyone free, up the tosh meter, Radio TalkSport.

Danny’s Fez Moments

TalkSport’s Danny Murphy donned the pundit dunce hat, to offload into the black mama TalkSport’s huge microphones referring to the Westham coach Keving Nolan’s touchline antics as being pathetic during a clash v Brentford. Nolan approached the Brentford technical area in an aggressive manner in response to being antagonised. Danny clearly had a memory drain moment, a week later on the show, with failing to criticise the manager’s histrionics on the touchlines reference Arteta and Guardiola, quote Murphy “I don’t care what they do, they must be doing something right to have the histrionics”. Those mushy peas dew drops Danny? Clunk, click every trip.

Danny’s memory loss switched into the obtuse, stating that Newcastle’s Bruno Guimaraes is not an athlete? The Portuguese is a box to box player who has a high rating of KLM’s clocked during match play. Swathes of the green blaze covered equates to stamina, equates to being an athlete. Danny slumped in his chair and became nonplussed, those bacon rashers gone haywire, pop.

A further ingraining came with the themed Jamie Carragher, who Sky Sports blazed Ten Haag tactics, heavy duty criticism of the United manager’s tactics which can be laid bare with ease. Murphy jumped on board and defended Carragher stating, quote “One of the most intelligent football people I know”. How? A pile of phlegm is the Carragher confirmer. Turn the lights on, play the music, giggerling, jiggerling, wiggerling, Danny’s loon tunes.

Arsenal

Could it be said that if Arsenal had a twenty goal a season striker, that the Gunners would have accumulated more points? Arteta’s signing of Kai Havertz and David Raya are baffling, can we prejudge Arteta with the Premiership title looming? The season’s end will be the judge of that.

Ben White

Ben White’s selection rejection for the National team came with distain being directed at White within the game, the supporters and beyond. Dating back, White jettisoned himself out of the Qatar World Cup and headed home. Ben known as Mr Strange Link to article Feb 2^nd 2024 ‘The Prem’s Big Dog’ includes ‘Mr Strange’ harbours the bumble bee up one’s arse and off he goes, the petulant bee. White has previously stated that he does not watch football and seems to play for the cash, no angst at the Arsenal Cilla, surprise, surprise. So will Ben tune in for Euro, strange indeed.

June’s edition to feature England at Euro 2024, The Countdown, The Manero Eleven, The Squad Picks, extensive coverage.

Come on England.