Vanity Fair

The Rio Ferdinand forever trying to stay reliant while raking in the cash at the same time as promoting oneself in a video advertising his hair and beard transplant procedures in Turkey to pay for Rio’s vanity, quote Rio “To have a couple of holes, a couple of patches filled in”, sorted here’s the black crayon. There have been many horror stories with the dentistry and hair transplants, you should show more responsibility Rio but bullshit talks and money works, check out the road to Rio and do us a favour and take the point of no return, it’s signposted.

The GOAT Squad (Flashback)

Boxer Deontay Wilder’s visits to the finer delights of the Saudi Arabia kingdom pre-flight titled ‘The Day of Reckoning’ boxing extravaganza would in some quarters to be met with gasps. The ‘Bronze Bomber’ and his four main team backup with the Deontay looking for those shopping bargains while having millions stashed in one’s bank vaults. Dressed in a pale sick colour for the occasion, Deontay and clan headed for a goat restaurant. The arrival of the goat to one’s table was laid bare, a fully blazoned barbequed goat laid out, suspended in mid-air on a metal contraption to show the goat in all its glory, the barbequed head displaying it’s gnashers, no dentistry required, akin to the Alien or Texas Chainsaw Massacre, excitement prevailed, photos were being taken with quotes attached “it looks authentic”, well it’s not moving that’s for sure, watch you don’t spew it. Deontay the boxing sporting GOAT (The Greatest of All Time) perhaps not but as Deontay would say pre-fight “It’s the bomb squad”, goat assisted. Deontay lost his ‘day of reckoning’ fight to Joseph Parker on points, no eternal offering from the goat.

No Turkish Delight

The Turkish Super Cup final between Galatasaray and Fenerbahce to be staged in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia became a non-event with the Saudis insistence on no flag banners with the former Turkish leader Ataturk not to be attached. Both clubs refused the coach drive to the Al-Awwal Park stadium for the anticipated final leaving the supporters in the stadium feeling abandoned.

The reality zone is that the Turkish clubs went to Saudi to fill their cream Lira eggs without a second glance towards the majority of their season ticket holders who could not meet the demands of the Saudi destination. The final in part was to celebrate the 100^th anniversary of the Turkish Republic and Federation, it’s not about the money, is that right? So, does the blocking of the Ataturk flag wavers to fall in line with the Saudis ‘sports washing’? Whose washing who? Should that be a red flag on both counts? Some would suggest that if the comic genius was in play, we could bring it to his attention.

Rooney’s Freight Train

Jump on board the Wayne Rooney freight train of unwanted baggage, short lived with Rooney being a New Year sacking lasting fifteen matches in charge producing a miserable three wins came of no surprise, the ‘Wazza’ to the football management knackers yard? Most likely Rooney’s main gameplan reverted to in the main the long haulage of the football, that reveals limited coaching expertise. Wayne supping tea in one’s Solihull flat pondering his next move, back to the wife, bloody hell, Hello I’m Wayne, the nomad, a hefty pay-off for sod all, time for those bells at the Rooney’s, the Nostradamus is back.

Jamie Henderson

Jamie Henderson’s Saudi courtship has become fractured with the Hendo looking to renege on his two year contract citing the heat as one of the factors, too hot under the collar Jamie, a guilt trip on reneging on the LGBTQ+ community. Can Henderson break free from his self-imposed to whistle with the birds from the cells. Those dreary long nights waking to the call of the midnight dogs alongside the tannoid prayers, it’s all a dream surely. Save a prayer for me now, save it till the morning after, I feel the fear in my soul. Please release me let me go, let me love again, no Tom Jones there that’s for the Green, Green Grass of Home – not signposted Hendo.

Rory’s Kaleidoscopic Lens

Golfer Rory McIlroy the soapbox artist has now transpired who before was ultra critical of the PGA tour members switching to the LIV Saudi golf tour termed as rebels, go for the long driver, mercenaries. Rory in his undoubted wisdom is now stating, quote “You cannot be too judgemental on players”. The Manero add-on, you can be judgemental on the Saudi’s Rory. McIlroy’s lensed vacillation transpired with the Spaniard John Rahm pocketing 400 million pounds to join the LIV mercenaries, quote McIlroy “I could not criticise John because he is a great player and the experiences we have shared together”. Now that’s the biggest pair of hairy bollocks you’re likely to see.

The Irishman’s pants were too harsh according to the green McIlroy gospel stating that other players are not as financially pocketed, another hairy pair to suggest that the world’s top players do not have millions stashed is farcical. So, has McIlroy a hidden agenda to elope to the Saudis later? It’s become a watching brief.

No Entry Wimbledon SW19

The Saudi Arabia investment fund has been endeavouring to brand name into British tennis with SW19 on their agenda the Wimbledon Championships, which is arguably the world’s greatest sporting event. Wimbledon is unique, to stay true to its core values, the historical values, this makes Wimbledon special, not to be stained with Saudi involvement. As Novak Djokovic would say “I like to eat the grass”, don’t forget the strawberries and cream, Wimbledon SW19.

The March 2024 edition will feature the ‘Johann Cruyff -> Rinus Michels effect Part 2’ and ‘Red Flagged Ronaldo’, plus late news, Everton Sanctioned. Again, the Manero lens on the Toffees route to survival.