Joey the ‘Birdman’

Enter into Court 1, Joey the ‘Birdman’ Barton accused of assaulting his wife, Barton’s wife as reported had a head injury the size of a golf ball on the Police files, the complainant, the Birdman’s wife. Time for another tee off at a later date, that’s par for the course, as is the case with most domestics, the assaulted suddenly inherits a memory loss, Joey did not hit me My Lord. The wife is either afraid of the thug Barton, or the lack of income following on from separation, either way Barton deserves better, handcuffs to hand Joey.

Into Court 2 My Lord, another assault charge, the ‘Birdman’ assaulted me in the player’s tunnel, the accuser, the former Barnsley manager Darren Stendel v Bristol Rovers of a previous encounter. Stendel suffered a few busted teeth, but no tooth fairies, just the fairies who reneged on their original statements, bird free again, Barton. Referral to Court 1, case to be revisited June 23^rd, perhaps the Police can do the job, time to be served, the ‘Birdman’ Barton?

Sally City

Peel back the veneer, cheap as plastic, a club with losses of fifteen million and liabilities of nineteen million pounds, the club’s wage bill outstrips the incoming revenue by the length of a marathon (to run) chew on that. The club in question, Salford City with the co-owner Gary Neville, the great advocate for a football regulator, strange that. Perhaps Neville feels that Salford are immune, a kinder garden club with a non-status historical value. Another mention worth a mention is the housing of the BBC Studios in Salford, only God knows why, cheap rates I suppose, oh and the Lowry Hotel, the link being the hotel’s previous live in occupant being Jose Mourinho, a cheeky wink from Jose at the Lowry portrait, nice chap that Lowry, I bet, cheap as chips, and expenses paid courtesy of the Manchester United accountants, as for the fish, swim the Manchester Canal.

Pop up, is that Old Trafford, looks antiquated, in between the antiques is a Gary Neville hotel, another debt riddled adventure perhaps, time to swim the Channel, final destination Italy, AS Roma for Jose. Stay pitched in Manchester Gary and deal with the debt riddle, a regulator required to sort out the bloody mess Gary and it’s red, Sally City, as for Ryan Giggs, can always hit the road out, pending.

Life’s a Football Jaunt

The rundown, a nine million pound bonus on the back of winning four trophies, free family and friends match day tickets to witness those trophy winning seasons free flight tickets to escape from those pressure winning matches back in the sun, Italy perhaps. The astonishing perks for the former Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini not to forget, a twenty four thousand free loan for a car lease with hotel perks inserted, all accommodation paid for, free salmon, can the Roy Keane quote re-inserted and associated to the managers, quote “The prawn sandwich brigade”. Is Roy Keane keen to have some of that, ask Sunderland, perhaps the perks with the job offer, just a black cat and the final insert, the managers comfort zone of a huge million pound pay out on getting the sack, cannot lose, does failure exist? Jump on board the managers football jaunt.

A Double Bluff

The Manchester United manager (interim) Ralf Rangnick has taken to criticising all and sundry at United in the public domain for abject failure to divert from one’s own failings. On Ralf’s appointment, friend and foe Jurgen Klopp suggested that he could have more competition, a nine to nil pounding over two matches, Liverpool v United gave no confirmation on that quote, perhaps Ralf should criticise himself, likewise, failed on the job.

The Rope a Dope

Dog walker Roy Keane decided to take a break from the dog and the boredom to take up a new pastime to take up swinging from a tree for one’s Instagram, watch the rope Roy, hey hey to the monkeys, Ian Wright and David Beckham found the clip amusing? Watch the brain cell, pathetic.

The Caveman

Players incurring head injuries during match play are referred to by the pundits to having a bump, a bang or a knock. Michael Owen received criticism from Chris Sutton (Sooty) who is of the opinion that the comments were considered too trivial for such an injury with Sutton being a campaigner for the protection of players, reference the dementia issues in football, Chris accused Owen of being a caveman. In defence of Owen, the eye tells us at first impression that’s it’s a bump, a bang or a knock, to think that every aerial challenge could lead to dementia, is that right? Whatever happened to the Grannies crossing the road, to compare no, but the gist follows, ask Wayne Rooney. They throw stones at cavemen, an appropriate comment Chris? Link to article Sooty and Sweep 29.04.22